6) Notice good behaviour, but don’t over praise
Notice and acknowledge when players have demonstrated the SLR (Safety, Learning, Respect). In doing so, you will reinforce the behaviours you want to see more of. However, think carefully about praising the players for this. There is a difference between ‘noticing’ rather than ‘praising’ – notice those that are ready to learn by stating ‘you’re ready to listen’ rather than saying ‘well done, brilliant, you’re ready to listen’. Your praise will be more impactful when the time is right to praise.
7) Winning team collect the cones
There is a story about the All Blacks cleaning the changing room after winning the Rugby World Cup. The message was: ‘We’re responsible: nobody cleans up after us, it’s our mess we sort it.’
When we ask the kids to collect the cones in, it shouldn’t be seen as a ‘job’. It’s their environment which we want them to be proud to look after. The winning team should collect the cones because it is a privilege and stands for respect for the environment, helping your mates and being good people.
8) Think about the copycat kids
In every group of players there are ‘copycats’. If we bend the rules for one or two kids, we’re also setting up problems with the copycat kids who are waiting to see how we deal with those who break the boundaries. If they see the coach bending the rules they’ll join in with the bad behaviour. If they see that the coach means what they say – they won’t.
9) It’s not you, it’s your behaviour which is unacceptable.
Making a distinction between the person and the behaviour is really important. John hasn’t been really bad, but the behaviour has. By saying “When you use bad language – that’s unacceptable, because it’s disrespectful,” there is a distinction between the behaviour and John.
10) The only person’s behaviour I can control is my own
It’s important that the coaches, particularly in grassroots, don’t feel like they’re supposed to be a social worker. Coaches are there to help, but not to cure problems. The skills and techniques mentioned here intend to help coaches with football coaching with an aim that any behaviour problems improve as a result. Don’t forget: the only person’s behaviour you’re in control of is your own.

